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Texting is far from compatible with tractor driving, stock husbandry, milking and fencing. See also: 10 things only a farmer’s child would know Sound impressed when they tell you how many acres they farm. The courgette, tofu, artichoke and broad bean pancake with a nut topping may well not impress. If you think something could develop into a relationship, ask yourself if you can really commit to not getting much sleep (for all the wrong reasons), being totally ignored whenever a weather forecast comes on the TV and taking “holidays” that involve farm visits. Who knows what’s happening – there could be a breakdown or a birth. They will undoubtedly be hard-skinned, grubby and stained beyond the point of no return, but it’s a sign of hard graft. Empty shotgun cartridge cases and penknives are not evidence of violent behaviour, it merely means they have a pigeon problem and use big bales, respectively.To be on the safe side, the suggested response is: “Wow! Don’t feel overly suspicious if they receive a lot of texts. Don’t say: “I got stuck behind a tractor on the way here, they’re so bloody annoying, aren’t they?Prof Linus Opara spoke to Glenneis Kriel about the university’s achievements in...

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